22 Ağustos 2012 Çarşamba

The day that will never come

I believe some day eveything on my life will be very well. I really believe that.
I will have a great life. I will have good friends and some of them will my best friends for life. Noone will tell lies to me as I will not tell any lies. The life that I am living now made me a good liar. I have to tell lies if I want to live as I want. Actually even telling lies cannot rescue me this goddamn life. I need a miracle for the life I want. Every little thing has to change. From my birth, until now. I do not feel myself belong here. And I know that none of my agers thinks that they belong to the life they are living. Cause that is human nature or I can say, teenager nature. (I really wonder how I will feel when I am 20. I will not a teenager but nothing will be changed, I guess)
However, let's continue what I will get. Maybe, I will have a great relationship. I have had relationships before. So many actually. But they were not the way I really want. Actually, I am not sure if I have a word  for a question like "How kind of relationsip do you want to have?" or "What you expect your valentine to do?" I canot explain it, I do not have any word for it. The person who has something with me HAS TO understand what I expect.
Maybe I will have a great family. Yes, I am one of those guys who do not like their families. But we can say "do not look at the world by the same window"
Eveything will be as I want. I will be the happiest poor man in the world.
Some day, the day that never will come.

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